Dear Single Pastor, Part 2

Here is a 3 part post from Pastor Matt Gladd on being a single pastor. Matt has agreed to interact with readers, so please leave comments or clarifying questions. You can also check out Matt’s Blog here.

Dear Single Pastor, Part 2. Read part 1 here.

Pastor Matt Gladd, FBC Kittery Point, ME

Where to begin?

First, as a single guy getting into ministry I anticipated some challenges, but met other challenges I could not have anticipated. One challenge I did anticipate is simply not having a wife with whom to talk and share my heart; someone to tell me when I’m right or wrong, and to challenge me in my personal spiritual life. That’s a lot, I know. I knew that this would make full-time pastoral ministry as a single man difficult because there simply isn’t that type of support in your life, apart from your relationship with Jesus Christ.

So, what to do?

I made it a priority to find people who could both support and challenge me in ministry and in my faith. I have one good brother in Christ that I talk to regularly, even though we live in different parts of the country. When we talk, we don’t talk about sports (even though we are both avid college basketball fans). Instead, we typically speak generally about how our work and ministries are going, and then we ask one another, “What is the state of your soul?” If there are people problems, we don’t gossip, but talk about how they affect us and only speak in general terms regarding the situation. If there are other problems, we try to speak to the root of the problem and draw out the sin at its source. Finally, we typically pray for one another: that the Spirit would put that sin in our life or someone else’s life to death, and thank God always for His grace and the joy of salvation.

I also have a couple of close friends whom I respect and consider especially wise that I talk to occasionally. I often seek them out for wisdom regarding various things, and we pray for one another continually.

I have another very close friend whom I talk with about deep theological convictions; and we mutually challenge one another in grace and truth by discussing the deep things of God. We also pray for one another.

I also have a close relationship with my parents, which is a great help to me. We disagree on some theological and ecclesiological points, but we love one another and are available to talk, simply listen, and remind each other of our love for one another. Sometimes, that can be a much needed thing in the life of the single pastor or ministry leader: simply having someone near to you who will tell you they love you. Ministry is not for the faint of heart and anyone who is in ministry knows that there will be times of frustration when you don’t feel loved.

Aside from those key friends and family, it is vital to have other Christian brothers in ministry to meet with for fellowship, encouragement, advice, and wisdom. I meet with pastors in the local association in my denomination once a month. I meet with pastors in the local community where I live and serve once a month. I introduced myself to many pastors in the area when I first began my ministry as a pastor, and I meet with some others for closer fellowship and encouragement frequently. I like meeting with other pastors in the area, despite our differences on many things, because there is a great ministry there and it is a reminder to me that local churches are not in competition; rather we’re all involved in the missional endeavor of the family of God. We are united in proclaiming the Gospel of God to our own congregations, our communities (our Jerusalem – Acts 1:8), and the world around us. This mission was inaugurated by God Himself when he sent Jesus on a rescue mission to earth, revealing Himself to save humanity from its problem of sin.